A lesson on leaving poor voicemails

This is pretty standard for a voicemail from my dad:

"Hey, Steve. It's your dad. It's 10:30 a.m. on Tuesday the 12th. I'm on my cell now, but sometimes I lose service in this area, so call my office phone between 11:30 and 12:30. In case you don't have the office number, it's 453-535-2257. Call there between 11:30 and 12:30. Don't call my cell because sometimes the call gets dropped cuz of the bad service. So call the office phone. Between 11:30 and 12:30. If you can't call then, call me on my cell after 12:30. I should be able to answer up until 1:00 but then I have a meeting. So call the office from 11:30 to 12:30, or my cell between 12:30 and 1."

Allow me to break this down.

"Hey, Steve. It's your dad."
Not "It's Dad," but "It's your Dad." Typically when someone says to me "It's Dad," I assume it's my dad. Not Joe's dad. Not Becky's dad. Not Wayne Gretzky's dad. I'm pretty certain the dad he is referring to is the one who raised me. Thanks for clarifying though.

"In case you don't have the office number, it's 453-535-2257."
He's been in the same office for about 15 years and has had the same office number the whole time (that's not really the phone number by the way - in case you felt the need to call my dad. Feel free to call it though - maybe it's a sweet, old lady in Nebraska or an adoption agency in Quebec.) Anyway, I own a cell phone in which I can easily program numbers in. I don't think he's aware of this.

"Call there between 11:30 and 12:30. Don't call my cell because sometimes the call gets dropped cuz of the bad service. So call the office phone. Between 11:30 and 12:30. If you can't call then, call me on my cell after 12:30. I should be able to answer up until 1:00 but then I have a meeting. So call the office from 11:30 to 12:30, or my cell between 12:30 and 1."
So what time does he want me to call where? I'm not sure five mentions of the time will get the point across.


This is why text messages are superior to voicemails. Even better, don't text or leave a voicemail. When I see a missed call from my dad or even Wayne Gretzky's dad, I'll call back.