Why must the official abbreviation in journalism for "third" be 3d,
and not 3rd? At first glance, this news headline appeared to be sad but
so futuristic at the same time. A three-dimensional teen?! Sweet! Nope.
Just sad.
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Slam!
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Notes from Texas
Hey, Sven readers. It's been awhile. I could get into the reasons why I haven't been posting lately, but that would take months to do and it would also result in me turning into a compulsive liar. So let's just put the past behind us and focus on the present and future. And right now, the present includes a short visit to the state of Texas.
I'm going to jot down a few notes about my visit here in San Antonio - like right now! I'm coming to you LIVE from San Antonio! Crazy, I know.
First and foremost, you MUST be aware of a little back story. That can be done by simply visiting a Facebook post I made back in August which I've conveniently linked here for you.
Take a minute to read the post and the comments below it. Once you do that, you'll realize why my one and only mission while here in Texas is to FIND DEAD CATTLE.
I will be sure to update all of you on my search for cow carcasses and other miscellaneous rotting meat, but for now, here's a brief summary of the trip.
DAY 1:
I flew from Philadelphia to San Antonio with a quick changeover in Minneapolis. No crazy stories to report which I guess is a good thing, concerning me being thousands of feet in the air with a bunch of odd-looking and potentially dangerously strangers.
Actually, I sat next to a nice guy named Alfonso on the way from Minneapolis to San Antonio. Alfonso has 13 kids ranging in age from 11-33. He had his first kid when he was 12 years old. 12 years old. Not a typo. 12 years old. He's so close in age to his first kid that he would be able to say, "What up, bro?" and it wouldn't be weird. Well done, Alfonso. Fortunately the 13 kids weren't on the flight too.
Alfonso and I parted ways at the terminal in the San Antonio airport. Soon after, Alycia picked me up and we headed to Chacho's. Chacho's is... what's the word I'm looking for... AMAZING. Open 24 hours a day, because if it wasn't, there could very well be a riot. Not only do they have incredible tacos and Jack & Coke margaritas, but they also have awesome but incredibly cheesy but awesome live music. I felt like I was in an episode of "Eastbound & Down", like when Kenny Powers is grooving to an Español version of Bob Seger's "Night Moves." And Hispanic families come out in full force for some dancing and eats. As Cassidy pointed out, when a Hispanic family goes out to eat, it's just Mom, Dad and a brother or sister or two. It's EVERYONE. At one point on the dance floor, there was a girl no older than 10, a couple Grandmas wearing leopard print, some middle-aged women - doesn't matter where you fall in the family tree - you better get your ass up and dance.
After devouring a puffy beef taco, a crispy grilled chicken taco, some loaded nachos, a Shiner Bock and a couple Jack & Coke margaritas, I realized the dance floor was calling my name. I preyed on Grandma #1 who was sporting the leopard print as previously mentioned. After twirling around Grandma for a song, a 45ish-year-old lady named Rebecca dragged me away from Grandma as she was getting jealous I wasn't letting her experience my insanely good white-boy dance moves. Rebecca was a very nice lady and also a very repetitive person when drunk. She informed me no less than five times about how she was recently divorced, and also mentioned about eight times that she has to split her Cowboys season tickets with her ex. I let her know that I was recently divorced too (this is false, FYI). Rebecca asks why - I replied with "She was a real bitch." I think Rebecca fell in love at this point, but Alycia, Cassidy and I deciced to get going to another bar. But not before Rebecca fumbled for her phone in her purse for at least a minute and a half. Her friend eventually had to take over and find the phone and take my number down at Rebecca's request. I'm still waiting for her to confess her love to me via text.
Onto the next bar - Vegas Bar. Where apparently it's common for people to casually make out next to the pool table and on couches while others nearby have conversations and enjoy $2 Heinekens. $2 HEINEKENS! Seriously! After a few of those, we called it a night and headed back home.
DAY 2:
Holy hell, what did I eat last night? My stomach feels like a there's a Mexican midget running laps inside my intestines. I eventually got out of bed and ran some work errands with Alycia then we headed to Bill Miller's BBQ for lunch. I've been in Texas for 18 hours and I've already consumed 4,543,754,258,053,785 calories. And that's why I'm heading to the gym in a few minutes while Alycia and Cassidy slave away at the office. Headed to the Spurs preseason game tonight - gotta get in some kind of shape in case Coach Popovic calls me in off the bench.
Day 2, continued.
Before we headed to the Spurs preseason game, Alycia and I stopped for dinner - Mexican of course. Tack on another few million calories to the count.
After dinner, we arrive at AT&T Center to see the Spurs win in a thriller, 97-95 over the Rockets. I asked numerous Spurs employees where "Dave" is - all responded with "Who?" I respond with, "The Admiral." I was unable to meet David Robinson like I had planned on doing but life goes on.
Day 2 ends with a relaxing night of watching Moonshiners on Discovery Channel. If you don't watch that show, start watching.
DAY 3:
Good to hear the crying cat outside my window is still weeping like he/she did all last night. Dude, the Spurs won. Shut the hell up.
Day 3 to be continued...
We walked out of the game and it was pouring rain - this is when Alycia informs me "it never rains here." Oh yeah? There's a frickin' monsoon out here, and it started before we went into the game. This same b.s. happened when I visited San Diego last December, where apparently it's always sunny and beautiful. WRONG.
First and foremost, you MUST be aware of a little back story. That can be done by simply visiting a Facebook post I made back in August which I've conveniently linked here for you.
Take a minute to read the post and the comments below it. Once you do that, you'll realize why my one and only mission while here in Texas is to FIND DEAD CATTLE.
I will be sure to update all of you on my search for cow carcasses and other miscellaneous rotting meat, but for now, here's a brief summary of the trip.
DAY 1:
I flew from Philadelphia to San Antonio with a quick changeover in Minneapolis. No crazy stories to report which I guess is a good thing, concerning me being thousands of feet in the air with a bunch of odd-looking and potentially dangerously strangers.
Actually, I sat next to a nice guy named Alfonso on the way from Minneapolis to San Antonio. Alfonso has 13 kids ranging in age from 11-33. He had his first kid when he was 12 years old. 12 years old. Not a typo. 12 years old. He's so close in age to his first kid that he would be able to say, "What up, bro?" and it wouldn't be weird. Well done, Alfonso. Fortunately the 13 kids weren't on the flight too.
Alfonso and I parted ways at the terminal in the San Antonio airport. Soon after, Alycia picked me up and we headed to Chacho's. Chacho's is... what's the word I'm looking for... AMAZING. Open 24 hours a day, because if it wasn't, there could very well be a riot. Not only do they have incredible tacos and Jack & Coke margaritas, but they also have awesome but incredibly cheesy but awesome live music. I felt like I was in an episode of "Eastbound & Down", like when Kenny Powers is grooving to an Español version of Bob Seger's "Night Moves." And Hispanic families come out in full force for some dancing and eats. As Cassidy pointed out, when a Hispanic family goes out to eat, it's just Mom, Dad and a brother or sister or two. It's EVERYONE. At one point on the dance floor, there was a girl no older than 10, a couple Grandmas wearing leopard print, some middle-aged women - doesn't matter where you fall in the family tree - you better get your ass up and dance.
After devouring a puffy beef taco, a crispy grilled chicken taco, some loaded nachos, a Shiner Bock and a couple Jack & Coke margaritas, I realized the dance floor was calling my name. I preyed on Grandma #1 who was sporting the leopard print as previously mentioned. After twirling around Grandma for a song, a 45ish-year-old lady named Rebecca dragged me away from Grandma as she was getting jealous I wasn't letting her experience my insanely good white-boy dance moves. Rebecca was a very nice lady and also a very repetitive person when drunk. She informed me no less than five times about how she was recently divorced, and also mentioned about eight times that she has to split her Cowboys season tickets with her ex. I let her know that I was recently divorced too (this is false, FYI). Rebecca asks why - I replied with "She was a real bitch." I think Rebecca fell in love at this point, but Alycia, Cassidy and I deciced to get going to another bar. But not before Rebecca fumbled for her phone in her purse for at least a minute and a half. Her friend eventually had to take over and find the phone and take my number down at Rebecca's request. I'm still waiting for her to confess her love to me via text.
Onto the next bar - Vegas Bar. Where apparently it's common for people to casually make out next to the pool table and on couches while others nearby have conversations and enjoy $2 Heinekens. $2 HEINEKENS! Seriously! After a few of those, we called it a night and headed back home.
DAY 2:
Holy hell, what did I eat last night? My stomach feels like a there's a Mexican midget running laps inside my intestines. I eventually got out of bed and ran some work errands with Alycia then we headed to Bill Miller's BBQ for lunch. I've been in Texas for 18 hours and I've already consumed 4,543,754,258,053,785 calories. And that's why I'm heading to the gym in a few minutes while Alycia and Cassidy slave away at the office. Headed to the Spurs preseason game tonight - gotta get in some kind of shape in case Coach Popovic calls me in off the bench.
Day 2, continued.
Before we headed to the Spurs preseason game, Alycia and I stopped for dinner - Mexican of course. Tack on another few million calories to the count.
After dinner, we arrive at AT&T Center to see the Spurs win in a thriller, 97-95 over the Rockets. I asked numerous Spurs employees where "Dave" is - all responded with "Who?" I respond with, "The Admiral." I was unable to meet David Robinson like I had planned on doing but life goes on.
Day 2 ends with a relaxing night of watching Moonshiners on Discovery Channel. If you don't watch that show, start watching.
DAY 3:
Good to hear the crying cat outside my window is still weeping like he/she did all last night. Dude, the Spurs won. Shut the hell up.
Day 3 to be continued...
We walked out of the game and it was pouring rain - this is when Alycia informs me "it never rains here." Oh yeah? There's a frickin' monsoon out here, and it started before we went into the game. This same b.s. happened when I visited San Diego last December, where apparently it's always sunny and beautiful. WRONG.
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Random thoughts
I friended Jesus on Facebook. He sent a message back - "I don't think so, God damn it."
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Search result shenanigans
I searched "rock island cash" to listen to "Rock Island Line" by Johnny Cash. Grooveshark had other things in mind apparently.
>
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Thunder!
I ordered a couple Flyers shirts online last weekend - I thought I'd put down a good name to give the shirt company and the mailman/woman a good laugh. I had forgotten I did this until I saw the package when I got home from work yesterday.
Friday, May 13, 2011
Hangin' with Foo
Before last night, the weirdest dream I've ever had involving music stars was when Bono and John Cougar Mellencamp teamed up to burn my house down. Last night's dream might've topped it.
Not sure how it started other than I was hanging out with the Foo Fighters at my mom's house in Medford, NJ. Dave, Chris, Nate, Taylor and Pat. The whole band was out in full force, just shootin' the sh*t and having a good time. Out of nowhere, the band's instruments appeared and they started rockin' out in the living room. But then my dad complained about the noise. Which makes no sense. My parents are divorced, and in turn, my dad no longer lives at my mom's. So what the hell was he doing there and who does he think he is telling the Foo Fighters to keep it down?
So we all went into the basement and continued to rock out without worry of bothering my dad. Next thing I know, we're all on the boardwalk in Ocean City, NJ. No instruments. Just kind of hanging out and having a good time. Then Dave Grohl asks me if I can bum a cigarette off of someone for him. I say sure, but before I get off the bench I was on, he gets up himself and bums a cigarette off of someone. As Dave walks back to his seat, the guy who gave Dave the cigarette turns to his friends and says, "Was that Dave Grohl?"
Within seconds, a huge crowd builds around the band and me on the boardwalk. My friends Matt and Bob spot me and ask me how I got to hang out with the Foo Fighters. Suddenly, the band's instruments appear out of nowhere and it goes from day to night in seconds, with lights shining on the band. The crowd starts chanting and the band begins to play. Song of choice? ......... Green Day's "When I Come Around". Probably the strangest part of the dream. Foo Fighters choosing to play Green Day. Very odd but the crowd loved it and went wild.
Meanwhile, I forgot that I had left my brand new smartphone over by a table to charge and now realized it was probably stolen. After the Foos put on a hell of a performance and the crowd was gone, I ran back over to the table and my phone miraculously was still there. Dave saw how happy I was that I hadn't lost my phone and he high-fived me.
Then, the band and me continued to hang out for awhile, no mention of the craziness that just occurred.
Thank you, Foo Fighters, for not burning my house down like Bono and John Cougar Mellencamp did.
Not sure how it started other than I was hanging out with the Foo Fighters at my mom's house in Medford, NJ. Dave, Chris, Nate, Taylor and Pat. The whole band was out in full force, just shootin' the sh*t and having a good time. Out of nowhere, the band's instruments appeared and they started rockin' out in the living room. But then my dad complained about the noise. Which makes no sense. My parents are divorced, and in turn, my dad no longer lives at my mom's. So what the hell was he doing there and who does he think he is telling the Foo Fighters to keep it down?
So we all went into the basement and continued to rock out without worry of bothering my dad. Next thing I know, we're all on the boardwalk in Ocean City, NJ. No instruments. Just kind of hanging out and having a good time. Then Dave Grohl asks me if I can bum a cigarette off of someone for him. I say sure, but before I get off the bench I was on, he gets up himself and bums a cigarette off of someone. As Dave walks back to his seat, the guy who gave Dave the cigarette turns to his friends and says, "Was that Dave Grohl?"
Within seconds, a huge crowd builds around the band and me on the boardwalk. My friends Matt and Bob spot me and ask me how I got to hang out with the Foo Fighters. Suddenly, the band's instruments appear out of nowhere and it goes from day to night in seconds, with lights shining on the band. The crowd starts chanting and the band begins to play. Song of choice? ......... Green Day's "When I Come Around". Probably the strangest part of the dream. Foo Fighters choosing to play Green Day. Very odd but the crowd loved it and went wild.
Meanwhile, I forgot that I had left my brand new smartphone over by a table to charge and now realized it was probably stolen. After the Foos put on a hell of a performance and the crowd was gone, I ran back over to the table and my phone miraculously was still there. Dave saw how happy I was that I hadn't lost my phone and he high-fived me.
Then, the band and me continued to hang out for awhile, no mention of the craziness that just occurred.
Thank you, Foo Fighters, for not burning my house down like Bono and John Cougar Mellencamp did.
>
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
The heat rises in Words With Friends, Part II
My opponent's reaction after I made a big play:
"I'm really just at a loss of words right now. I want to throw my phone through the tv in my basement."
"I'm really just at a loss of words right now. I want to throw my phone through the tv in my basement."
>
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